As the Sun Burrows No. 26

As the Sun Burrows No. 26

Vigil No. 19

Bears carousel

Rat headed towards the sound of Bears coughing

There in the silver lit room

Possum was seated at the round table her white candle held high over its center

Bear coughed and shuddered

Barely there

Her fur was full and white

And as Rat watched

The room began to spin

Slowly at first

Possums light danced about, bringing her in and out of shadow

From white to black

And as the scenes spun

Bear was suddenly sitting there fat and healthy

Laughing

Then as a shadow passed over him, thin and pained, struggling and angry

Then big and fearsome and horrid

Then kind and gentle and lovely

Then silly and playful with a snout dripping with honey

he could then be seen sat there not quite thin or fat but anger and sternesss ruled his face

And then there he was again, dead or almost

A grey of the grave in his fur

Rat watched and was filled with the emotions of a lifetime

Kindness, unkindness

Worry, hate, love, passion, playfulness, joy, anger, hope, hopelessness….and rat wept

Wept with joy at one utterance and with bitter sorrow at another

And as the carousel of bears spun round

Through its whirling shifting effigies of his life and story

Flickers could be caught of white gloves holding a mirror

And reflected in that mirror

A white empty dish covering a face

And one who’s mouth was filled with fire

_~for K. Who I knew too briefly

Sigh:

Silence unfold

As the Sun Burrows No.25

As the Sun burrows No.25

Curtain rising. No.1

Here,

in red velvet surroundings ,

two fox brothers meet

One blind in the left eye

The other missing half a paw

One in dapper tuxedo

The other in dated tailed coat

They circle one another

Knives held in white gloved hands

Panting

The first strike has not been struck

There is a desperation

A lust for it

Want of revenge

A long seated hate

An aggression born of a thousand misgivings

The eye patch sporting brothers fur red

The half paw a rusty brown

Tuxedo, half blind and ravishing

Tail coat, broken and wild disheveled cuss

The first swipe and strike is taken

There will be an ending in the red room

White gloves will be blood stained

Copper smell

Eyes meeting eyes

The deed is done

The death dealt

From the window, a great bear dressed in blue watches in the rain

As one falls

As the Sun burrows No.24

As things change and transform so will this effort. We may return to Rat and the burrowing animals, the vigils and the sighs.

We may one day learn what he chose there in the kitchen, his bag and an out, or heading towards the sounds of bear. But for now, we will take an intermission. For the story is outliving its usefulness, for now….

And so in this intermission.

The curtain rises, we will peek in and see what animals are doing here and there away from all of this. An act an effort. Cheers

SIGH

As the Sun burrows No.22

SIGH No.22

Like a terrible fight

The old self is in our teeth

Hands round necks

Reciprocating

May the one that will take it all further

Persist

Survive

Metamorphose allowed

As the Sun burrows No.21

As the Sun burrows No.21

Vigil No.18

Rat Left his vault at a late hour.

After the encounter with Coati, he could not sleep.

The burrow was dark and quiet, as he stepped into the tunnels, the shadows were not a typical pitch, but a pale cold blue.

There was a feeling that Rat knew, but couldn’t quite put his claw on as he silently crept the paths.

As he neared the commons vault a cold breeze from up near the burrows entrance winded down and passed by him, through him.

His eyes were reflective silver points in the dark as he looked towards the entrance.

There, caught between the entrance of the commons and the path to the entrance, feeling that cool wind..Rat thought of something that struck him as odd.

The path to the entrance……he turned this phrase over in his mind.

He was inside the burrow, so this path, from where he stood… lead to the exit.

The exit of the burrow. Not the entrance.

Rats head spun for a moment over that simplicity.

And then came the questions.

He slumped against the entranceway as they filled his head.

“What was any of this?” “A house above ground where Possum and Bear, whoever they were, stayed? But the rest of us animals come down in a hole Badger dug for the winter?”

Coati and his obviously bizarre behavior and Raccoon??? Was Rat the only one who noticed these things and how strange it all was? He felt Dizzy…

“Badgers Don’t hibernate? Do they?” Was Badger actually dead?” Dread filled him, anxiety and suffocation pressed him down.

“Who was Rabbit???” Rat didn’t know him. “There are tvs and lamps and….how did any of that work down here? Why did we leave a house with heating to stay underground for winter? Whats happening to me here? Why do I stay? I could simply leave! no more Possums and sickly Bears! No more candle nonsense! No long empty nights…No more blindfolded psychologically aggressive Raccoons! No more Cum….thats right it’s called cum!…not silver pearls! No more fucking surprise cum slurping rude assholes like Coati…If there were tvs and football games here, surely there are cars and planes and trains..all I have to do is take a few steps up that tunnel and out the exit.”

“THE EXIT!”

“I could be miles away from this nonsense!”

Rat shoved himself off the wall and quickly began his ascent and was at and then through the exit before he even thought about it.

The night air was cold, but it felt good.

He felt a massive weight shifting, not leaving, but moving to a less tired place in him.

He walked into the house and began collecting his things.

He had left his phone in a drawer in the kitchen…why? Maybe he thought it would help him experience something else.

Rat began to feel anger over having spent so much time in such an idiotic manner.

He tapped the screen of his phone but it was dead.

He fished a cable and charger out of the drawer and plugged them in, trying to be quiet as he did not know where Bear and Possum were.

If there even WERE.

As he sat there in the dark of the kitchen of the house, waiting for his phone to charge, he thought about where he might go, maybe somewhere warmer or at least more lively than this purposeful tomb. The Southwest was where he was born, maybe he would winter there.

As he flicked his phone to check the battery percentage and the time he caught a glimpse of his Lock Screen image…a photo of Badger in his football attire.

He was so handsome.

Rat sat and thought of him, his smell, his warmth and size, his gentle smile, his hard work and of the time he had come to his side late one night after a hard game and never left it.

He ran memory after memory through his mind

And suddenly was frightfully torn.

Badger wouldn’t come with him would he? If he was sleepy couldn’t he just sleep in the god damn car? On the plane? At a house somewhere? Why this??? Why was this the choice? Was there undoing it?

As rat wrestled with his thoughts a faint silver glow grew brighter in the dinning room of the house. As rat noticed it he locked his phone and stood.

He wasn’t under his own spell anymore, he knew that if he went to the light there would be the next “happening” The next something that “meant something” or was supposed to anyway.

If Rat was being honest, he’d had enough of chasing the “secrets and meanings” half of them seemed to only lead his nose to his own anus most of the time.

He unplugged his phone and began to pack his small bag.

The light grew stronger and from the dinning room he heard Bear coughing.

Rats heart felt heavy at this sound, suddenly worrying tenderly over an old friend….But was he? Who was Bear? Rat shook his head and shuddered the feelings down. Shoving the last of his things into the duffle. The duffle was embroidered with the numbers five and seven….Badgers jersey numbers….wasn’t that also? Rat felt dizzy and nauseous thinking on it.

Bears coughing sounded out again but this time, it sounded as though he was choking.

Rat steadied himself, looking at the white numbers on the black bag and then to the growing silver light in the direction of Bears distressed coughing.

And with a bitter, angry countence he began to walk towards the light but stopped and looked back at his bag and there at his strange crossroads he angrily sighed.

SIGH No.21

Let go!

Keep going

Lay it down

Never give up

Give it a break

Don’t stop

Put it away

Not yet

Let it be over

Never

Now

Hold on!

End

Begin

End

Begin

As the Sun burrows No.20

As the Sun burrows No.20

Vigil No.17

NSFW

As Rat busied himself about the burrow here and there, he found himself frequently distracted by Coatimundi, who, after getting them caught on a root protruding from the burrows wall as he tried to get at some ginger snaps on a high shelf, had ripped and then wriggled free of his trousers. Now the Coati jaunted about the burrow on full display and the Rat could not keep his eyes from wandering down beneath his tail, or between his thighs, or at what swung and bounced and hung.

The Rats mind had become a fleeting mire of confusion and emotion, it seemed as though he could not hold on to an idea, a feeling, a mood or a starting point for more than a few moments. He found himself dropping things, leaving tasks half finished, not listening when spoken too.

  Distracted and frustrated, Rat decided to return to his vault. For as much as his eyes wanted to wander along the softer parts of Coatimundi, he was quite irritated and repulsed by the animal, who ceaselessly ate and complained and seemed at all times to be in the middle of some antic or performance. Rat thought of Raccoon who had let him in and anger began to bubble in his chest. After a short walk down the tunnels of the burrow, with a great huff he threw back his vaults curtains and stepped inside. Rat was frustrated and angry but also tired and full of a days worth of repeated aching arousals.

He fell into his cushions and after a time began to please himself, as he did, he thought of Badger. As he continued and did not relent, his thrusts and bucks came and his body gave up its hold on deep, small valves that opened and flooded tiny coiled tubes with warm fluid held by glands that were drawn up tense and tight. He kicked his feet as it built and happed, his mind at his emptying was suddenly filled with images of Coati and his soft places and Rat was truly deeply emptied by the final spasm.

When the Rats panting and enjoyment had passed and his joy faded he quickly pulled his trousers back on and reached for a cloth to clean up what he had spilled across the cushions and floor. As he leaned forward to blot up his fluids, he was startled horridly to find Coati crouched down inches in front of him. Coati flicked his tongue out and wiped his muzzle of something that hung from its side. He chuckled as he stood up in front of Rat, then without a word, pranced out of the room with a bouncy step. As the rat looked out on the cushions and ground front of him, between his legs where he should have been spilled…not a drop of his pearly silver remained…the cloth was no longer needed. Rat sat in the dark realizing what the Coati had been licking off his chin and felt perplexed. Pleased and unpleased. And there he sat for a long while, until finally giving up the chase for how it all sat with him, what it all could mean, he let himself fall backward into the pillows and blankets once more and let out a deep sigh.

SIGH No.20

Pearls before swine

In the weight of its intended meaning

Holds perhaps more value

Than the value we assign to the pearl itself as product

Is the story greater than the action

Is the feeling worse than the reality

A mind left to wander, will please or destroy itself in due time

And the ego will get a tongue full of honey either way

Let our intimacy be vigilant or shared fully in knowing

For half giving will leave half formed feelings

Always collapsing into negatives and fears

As the Sun burrows No.19

As the Sun burrows No.19

SIGH No.19

Let the coffee in the morning be sweet and warm

May the Rat and Badger be edified

May strangers not be given a performance

Let not my desire be to impress

Let May Day be given to rest and the animals

Art and devotion

And may nervousness over importance and false pomposity be done away with

Let the meeting be concise

Enjoyable

Or if not

If it be not to the benefit of the animals

Let it be brief

Guard me in this strange time

Draw mirrors and sigils and flame and sword about me

57

As the Sun Burrows No.18

As the Sun Burrows No.18

SIGH No.18

There is a great difference between the empty storehouse

And nothing appealing in one that is full

With discretion, teach us the difference

But in mercy

As the Sun burrows No.17

As the Sun burrows No.17

Vigil No.15

The morning found Bear asleep on a great comfy sofa, surrounded by a plethora of pillows and blankets. Steam poured out of fresh bowls of herbal mixtures, peppermint and bay, basil and chamomile. Bear breathed the warm wafting vapors in deeply. Warm in the mouth and cool and bright in his chest and throat. He propped himself up on his elbows and found a very large cup of tea and a dish of blackberries in cream sat in front of him, the honey still golden as it trickled down them. Bear felt easy and comforted. He ate the blackberries which were sweet and good. He drank the tea, which though strong and medicinal, had a strange but pleasing taste. Possum came into the room bearing another great bowl of steaming leaves and herbs and oils. She sat in Close to bear and smiled.

Bear nodded to her and gave a sort of sad, knowing smile back.

“Well, I suppose it can’t be helped, we chase what we will in the reflections and shadows, and who knows what manner of self can come from those never ceasing places”

Bear stared forward as she spoke

“I saw him….I think”

Bear said in a far off way

“Yes, I’m sure you did dear Bear, but you were not ready for what he had to say”

Bear shook his head

“I wasn’t ready for him to be there with me at all”

Possum placed her paw on Bears shoulder

“The brothers are beyond such easy knowing, give it time and grace for yourself and for goodness sake, ask me for help next time! I am aquatinted with all three of them you know!”

And at saying this, Possum shuffled about in her shawl huffily, like a chicken ruffling its feathers.

Bear chuckled, “I will ask you for help next time” he said….and his eyes showed some surprise

“You laughed but did not cough”

Possum said gently.

Bear smiled and eased himself back into the warm blankets and pillows.

“I know it is your time to rest Possum, your great care and effort here for me have truly put my spirit at ease. I think I will rest here for a while but before you go, will you put on the record with the scene of Easter on its cover on for me?”

Possum nodded and fetched the record, as it spun round

The sounds of gentle guitar strings filled the room.

The music was sweet indeed.

Possum smiled at its light and welcoming air,

Bear smiled at his favorite song beginning

And he sighed….

SIGH N0.17

Let ease come

Let comfort come

May it fill our chest

Let peace be in the room

May ease envelope

Might gladness and cheer aid our body

Give us rest

Give us hope

And joy

And joy

As the Sun burrows No.16

As the Sun burrows No.16

Vigil No. 14

Above ground, bear sat at the window,

all had left him save possum, who slept during the day.

He had once been fat and full of muscle and fire.

He was loved and his days were full of blackberries and honey, milk and laughter.

But now in these days, he was thin, and the cold wind went through him like a thread worn bed sheet.

He was exhausted.

And he sat in the shadows of the house

Looking through its black windows

At a burrow he could not fit in

Gazing at the warm light spilling from it

And his sunken eyes shone with mirror light

Bear held up a mirror in his left hand

Bear held up a mirror in his right hand

Between them

He appeared as an echoing image

And a hallway was formed

And as he peered down it just beyond his own face

There was another

Far off and down

A silver bell sounded from somewhere unseen

A hand came forth from the shadows

And rested on bears shoulder

He startled badly at the touch and sound

And began coughing violently

He spasmed and retched

Nearly falling out of his chair

He finally bought his breath wheezing

There in the black

Slumped and half balanced in it

He looked behind him

And for only the briefest of moments

The retreating visage of a Fox

Was swallowed by the shadows as he stepped back into them

And then the room was silent

And empty

Save for Bear

Who’s eyes glowed unfocused and wide but unseeing

And blood hung from his quivering lip

SIGH No. 16

Let us not go seeking what we cannot in truth be at peace with

Let us not put our eyes to what we cannot help or change

Let us not look into the mirror for selfish reason

Let us not gaze into ourselves

Or gaze long at our ideas of the other

Only to be left destroyed

For it is all false

And easily changed

Just as we think we are at peace or have it solved

Fox will tilt the perspective just so

And all is suddenly lost in what seems chaos

Only look into the mirror with purpose

Purpose, choice and action

For passiveness

Vulgar Curiosity, seeking of validation or over vigilance against assumed and imagined enemies will rip apart the garden

And snuff out the candle

As the Sun burrows No.15

As the Sun burrows No. 15

Vigil No. 12

What of of these imaginings? What of these images?

A coatimundi and a rat

The same body

Repulsed and beguiled by its own self

And every aspect

The aspect of an emotion or a fraction of an idea

About the self

My self

Self in the mirror of Fox

Coati the ego, Rat the self but also the ego

Perhaps more the ego than Coati

For here in the burrow he is less openly critiqued

Coati has come for shelter

And been personified as an obvious sign

A signal

An icon

The villain

But he is plain in this

An imagination projected

Where is the imaginal?

For if Rat is not critiqued, is he not the ego unchecked?

In truth?

And therefore the villain himself

Or is the ego villain?

Perhaps the archetypes are of no service here

But we will the imagination to continue

Because it is comforting

Comforting to the ego and illusory

And what is Coatimundi if not the ego

personified and seeking comfort in the burrow?

This is story

Story can be magic produce magic

But this inherently is not

So let us imagine

Then

The rat watching the Coati dress

In the warm cloths Rabbit gives him

Eat the food prepared for him

And Rat be shown

To be both beguiled and disgusted by him

Wanting of him but repulsed

As we all can be

In the mirror

With our own self

The memories of our faults

And our assumptions of our imperfections

Perfection…falsehood

Another imagining

But as I imagine it

As Coati slipped on his trousers

His hubris heavily flipped up and then into them

As he watched it hang limp and pronounced

Outlined through the trousers against his thigh

Blood rushed to Rats most sensitive places

As perhaps some have done and felt

When they catch themselves in the mirror

on a rare occasion

In just such a way

A dog chasing its tail

But exercise and fun are had

Rat and the animals at the table

We will test these limits soon

In autumn it is easy to eat drink and be merry

Be comforted

And these are the food of the ego

The imagination

But in the winter

We must find the core of these animals

And to do so may be to find the core of the self

And such work

Is of the cold and saturnine and discomfort

The winter

The desert

But for now

A bowl of pea soup

For coatimundi

And a cup of warm coffee

Brought to Rat by Rabbit who anticipated his need

Which surprised him

And he smiled

And Sighed

SIGH No.15

Shall we go too far?

The dog chases its tail counter directionally

Too little thought and seriousness and discipline

Disrupts and destroys

Yet overthought and zeal and overwork

Do the same

It is best to exist where we may

Lay it down

Pick it up

Repetition in ritual

Earnestness in searching and attempt

And decision and discretion in action

Let us give of ourselves what we may

Question it with wisdom

And rest and allow comfort when we may

As the Sun burrows No.14

As the Sun burrows No.14

SIGH No.14

I have not much to give

This night, I know not if the moon is silver or gold

My body and mind are used up like a candle

Burnt too long in an unwatched room

I feel not Badger, and Rats countenance slips from round my face

To sit in my upturned hands like a mask

And I stare into the back of the world cradled in them

And cannot make sense f it

Its geometry

I have no words for my heart

But in the darkness

I light a candle still

I will acknowledge the unknowing

I will walk the path

I will stop at the altars

With oils and candles and incense

And care for the animals

Attend them

For in time the unknown may become known

Until then

I, like badger will sleep

I am not granted a season of sleep

I will rise in the morning and return to my labors and joys and worries

And should there be trouble

I might only hope

That it be easy trouble

As the Sun burrows No.13

As the Sun burrows No.13

SIGH No.13

A prayer of tiredness:

Help us lift our paws when our will is still and thin

Aid us in rising from the bed when pain and resignation hold

Get us up

Get us out

Get me out of here

As the Sun burrows No.12

As the Sun burrows No. 12

Vigil No.11

As the days went along, there were measures of happiness and misery, as it is with such seasons. Today Rat woke feeling full of life and energy, he hopped out of his bedding and quickly cleaned and dressed himself.

A short time later he sat in a commons vault with Rabbit, Mouse and Raccoon, sipping warm coffee and planning his little day. Perhaps he would make some beet salad? Or maybe Watch films? Spend the day Reading? Play games? He didn’t know quite at the moment which sounded the best, but he knew he felt warm and at ease here With his friends.

As they sat relaxing and waking up, Rabbits ears swiveled abruptly and Mouse stood as a sudden and rough rapping of claw against the entrance to the burrow sounded out.

No one moved for a moment, it was not the hour of the wolf, nor was anyone expected. Perhaps it was another come to seek shelter? “The way” is that any animal that comes to shelter in the burrow be permitted, and that has always been the way, but the knocking….what animal knocked so aggressively and with such an arrogant rhythm? It was obvious to Rat that the knock had placed everyone on guard, startled them.

As Rat pondered the groups reactions, Raccoon wandered past him and towards the entrance.

“Wait!” Rat cried, “we do not know who is there knocking!”

Raccoon in his usual way, simply continued ahead and spoke quietly.

“All that seek shelter shall be given shelter”

Rabbit looked at Mouse concerned.

Rat scurried to Raccoons side, “You’d let in Wolf himself I swear! I’ll go out with you and see this animal for myself.”

And so the two made their way to the entrance of the burrow.

As they approached it, another rhythmic and severely loud series of knocks rapped out.

It startled Rat, who then tuning cross cried out “What animal is it? Beating the burrow with your claws so loudly? What is it you want?!”

……

“Want?”

Came an unfamiliar voice, a voice that set the Rat on edge just as the knocking had.

“I suppose I want everything?”

The response was Sardonic and unconcerned and Rat felt himself all the more uncomfortable.

After a purposeful pause, the voice continued.

“But….I want for shelter….That would be the answer that produces action and progress I suppose”

Before Rat could protest, at hearing his words Raccoon opened the burrow.

Standing in the golden light was an animal Rat did not yet know, if Badger and Raccoon had offspring, they might look something like this animal. He was very long, with a face so narrow and lengthy he seemed almost gaunt, but Rat could tell he was no weakened thing, he was Strong and sure.

The animal bore strange symbols on his body that Rat could not make sense of.

But Rat knew certainly, looking the animal in the face, meeting his eyes, full of anger and want, that he did not want him in this burrow. Fighting him would surely be the end of Rat, the animals long claws and huge curved fangs would make quick work of him.

If only Badger were here he would know what to do, could fight this troublemaker off with ease.

Without consulting Rat Raccoon beckoned the animal come inside.

The animal bowed and thanked Raccoon, and when he bent over in his bow, Rat could see there was vulgarity between his legs, and as he jauntily walked on all fours into the burrow it swung heavy from side to side.

“Nice to meet you…..Rat”

The animal said catching the Rats gaze.

“What do they call you?” Rat asked flatly though a but shaken

“They call me many names, many things I have been called, but you Rat, call me Coatimundi”

And with that the three animals descended into the heart of the burrow.

SIGH No.12

Let us be vigilant

Let us work

Let us improve

For unchecked

We will quickly consume ourselves

Choice and action in equal measure

Let us stand

And discern

And be counted wise

As the Sun burrows No.11

As the Sun burrows No.11

SIGH No. 11

And when the scattering comes

When no sense can be made

When confusion excels

And fear and anxiety descend

When peace cannot be found

And rest cannot be undertaken

frustration and the churning mind are ceaseless

Argument and bitterness are quick on the lips

Tears simmer behind lost stares

Meaning is lost

Hope is lost

Joy is lost

Compassion is lost

Direction is lost

The very path before us is enshrouded

In those moments….

Ah!

What of those moments?

Another unknowing!

What can truly be said.

May they pass swiftly and without damage

May you regain your footing true

May your silver bell ring out in the night

And candles light your way

To the words of friends

The arms of loved ones

And the purpose you have willed in the self

Should the dark overwhelm

May the fangs wound but not destroy

As the Sun burrows No.10

As the Sun burrows No.10

Vigil No.9

The morning came and Possum went to bed.

Rat woke up. He felt less afraid.

Bear woke up.  He felt more able.

Badger still slept, deep and in dreams…

I cannot yet tell you of Badgers dreams for as of this moment, I know them not.

The sunlight in the garden has begun to sparkle in bronze and brass.

Gold days and Silver nights.

The leaves Begin to deepen in patches of reds and flashes of yellow here and there,

But most are still in a Latest Summer dull green.

Spiders webs glisten in the ebbing breeze.

The Breeze now cools, especially in the shades and shadows.

The Pine and The oak.

The Pond and its Reflected world, an inner sky.

A burrow that now houses many animals, safe within it.

All the Decorating and moving in were well underway or finished for most.

Rat sat and drank a small cup of coffee with Mouse who laid a paw on his shoulder.

Rat was surprised to see Raccoon sitting at a table with Rabbit, the Two sat in silence.

Perhaps Rat would one day ask Raccoon what happened last night, but deep within him Rat knew that he knew all he was required to know.

Staring at the black silken Blindfold tied round Raccoons head, Rat followed past where it tied off and its excess flowed down Raccoons back…. And Rat smiled.

It was not a joyous smile, but it was earnest.

He breathed deeply and sighed.

SIGH No. 10

When things are good

Let them be good

When peace is found

Let it Suffice

When worry flees

Let it be gone

When strength and courage build

Give of yourself

For as deeply as we feel our fears and sorrow

We must, We must!

Feel and submerge our hearts in the things of a lovely kind

  

As the Sun burrows No.9

As the Sun burrows N0.9

Vigil No.8

Bear stood out in the garden as Possum sipped tea by the pond in a chair.

“Why don’t you sit with me and rest awhile?” She asked blowing steam off her cup and out into the night air.

Bear let out a Heavy sigh.

“You know what comes to this garden when the frost Glistens over all that once was vibrant and green”

Possum chuckled.

“Of course I do! I’ve been here almost as long as he has you know”

Here she Paused and took a sip of her tea.

“And Besides, We all go before Wolf at some point…”

At this Bear turned sharply to her and held up his paw.

“I’m aware of it all, it doesn’t make it any easier”

Possum nodded and then patted the chair near her.

“Come sit, The glow of my candle and yours together, a spot of tea and a blanket will help you feel more at ease, you can’t stand out here every night waiting for him.”

Bear did not face her again when he spoke.

“I have been waiting for what seems so long, He has haunted my every step.

I see him round doorways and from the back of closets…I can see him in my mirror when I cannot sleep at night, always just his muzzle, peeking out from behind something.”

Possums voice was full of cheer when she spoke again after a time.

“Come now Bear, you haven’t been waiting any longer than any other animal, and you know that once he comes, you can’t fight him or make demands or question him, that’s not the sort of animal he is…but you can speak with me, and we have a long while till the frost comes.”

Bear coughed, it took him a moment to speak again and when he answered Possum the anger and challenge had waned from his voice, replaced now by uncertainty and tiredness….and fear.

“Do you know if this frost will be my last? In certainty?”

Possum was silent for a moment.

“As many years as I have taken watch over this house and garden when the Badger burrows and the Wolf comes, I do not know when my own day shall come, and though I can see signs and help guide those who’s days are fast approaching…I do not know the time Bear, and you know this”

Bear clenched his huge clawed paws, fighting off another cough.

“Come sit please, I hate to watch you suffer in agitation”

Possum pleaded.

But Bear silently walked away from her into the shadows and returned into the house.

Possum remained in her chair by the pond and sang blessings over the burrow and the garden and house, she made tea and played cards and was quite content.

Inside the house, bear was chased and tormented by shadows, whispers and hosts of things that may or may not have been. He collapsed on his bed and at a terribly late hour, fell into an unrestful sleep.

SIGH No.9

Be Still

Where we can, let us rest

In company

Let us not gaze off into the long shadows

Where surely one day the end will come make itself known

Oh little animal

Fear will come

Oh Wolf, you shall come

You have loomed great and massive in the sky over all

Saturnine

But let the animals

Who’s time is limited

Not spend that blessed span gazing only at the eating ringed giant

Let them see far more of their Loves in the stars round him

Let our gaze be on the rose and moths and the moon

Let us hold our loves and friends in our hearts

And should all fail

May we have the strength to see ourselves in the mirror

And not look to what may lurk in unexpected corners

Look into your own eyes

And put the next paw forward

For every step to wolf we make

The distance to him will never be known fully.

But should we be still, in the hope that we not reach him.

He Will, in turn, take steps to us.

And so keep moving

Do not cease

Until you meet him there

For our movement is joy and light

But his movement to us

Is suffering and fears

As the Sun burrows No.8

As the Sun burrows No.8

Vigil No.7

As Rat finished tidying his vault that Raccoon had left so disheveled, he heard a faint thrumming on the curtains. Rat opened them to find Mouse standing a polite distance away smiling. “Did you get the tea from Rabbit?” Mouse asked Beaming. Rat looked at Mouses soft brown fur and bright eyes, and then down to the miserable clump of semi dried green tea in his own rough pink paw. For a moment Rat was lost, here was Mouse, youthful, spry, able and quite beautiful. And here he was, Caught between young and old, health and unhealth, alive and dead and he could feel Foxes mirror begin to swivel in his mind. A lump formed in his throat as he reached out his hand to Mouse. “What is it?” Mouse asked in a concerned way.

“Take them to Possum”, Rat said smiling but as his smile crested tears were forced out of his eyes and down his cheek.

Mouse held open his paw and took the leaves, a concerned look upon his face.

Without a word Rat hurried past him down the hallway, wiping his eyes and giving a huff. The fear and the sadness were here with him, why had Raccoons accident sent him into such a state? At one moment he was feeling bright and warm and comforted.. and now? Now he felt as though his chest would burst and his anger and misery would eat him from the inside.

Mouse watched him go and shook his head smiling, a knowing look that only a mouse face can quite make.

As Rat made his way to Badgers Vault he collected himself, stopped his crying and decided he would go and sit at the corner opening of the vault.

He could not enter it.

No animal could.

But he could at least be near him, the one so full of youth and power and warmth, the one who could protect him and drive away the dread, make him feel like the animal he was, not the one he was or could be. In Badger was the forgetting of loneliness and fear for Rat.

As Rat thought of Badger he felt a bit stronger and as he rounded the corner there coming down the hallway was Raccoon who stopped  and stood still immediately at hearing him coming…

Mouse who was now brewing a cup of tea in Rabbits vault with the leaves Rat had given him, blew steam off the cups rim and smiled, “I wish hed gone to Possum, but a lesson is learned in many ways”

“What?”

Asked Rabbit, one ear cocked, leaning back to look at Mouse. They were the only ones in the vault and Rabbit had clearly heard what Mouse said.

Mouse, looked down at his tea a moment and then held it out to Rabbit.

Rabbit looked at the cup puzzled.

“Would you put a bit more honey in this please?”

Mouse said playfully to Rabbit.

Rabbit took the cup from Mouse glaring at him.

:HMHCUTDS:

Rat stood for a moment, his anger immediate at Raccoons presence.

“Its me” Rat said flatly, “I’m not going out to meet Possum tonight, but Mouse will be, if you hurry you can catch him and go up together I’m sure”

Raccoon did not move or speak.

Rat Stared at him, he felt sticky and aggravated, like his fur was full of scabs and mites. He shook his head and walked past Raccoon quickly.

He had not made many steps past him when a strange understanding came to Rat.

Standing there very still, he knew something was wrong, but he could not quite tell what it was.

He turned on his heel to Raccoon to ask if he sensed something as well, but upon his turning he was met with the sight of an animal he did not expect.

There in what seemed to be an endless dark tunnel, stood a Rat, and this Rat looked much Like Rat himself. Rat looked Rat over and a creeping cold dizzying confusion began to wrap itself around the Rats head. “Who are you?” Rat called out, only to be answered by the same question, in the same tone and the same voice.

At hearing his own voice, Rats stomach lurched and he swayed as the walls and room began to waver.

Rat then began to slowly walk towards himself.

Rat straightened himself and staggered backward a few steps away from from his own approach.

As Rat drew Near to Rat he could see in his own eye for a brief moment, many arrows, so many that they pointed in every possible direction, Rat only glimpsed it in one eye before darting his eyes to the floor. All of his misgivings, anger, hate and confusion..all his unknowing’s and assumptions, all his possibilities came to him there in that dark tunnel, and were made plain for only the briefest of moments.

As Rat passed himself, all of himself came to a crescendo, and everything, for that split second about himself was known and everything he did not know was laid out. Rat did not look to himself as he passed by, he fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face and snot bubbling from his nose as he blindly gazed at the ceiling. Then came a yelp from some broken place in him, and the most horrible noise an animal could make , full of dread, no knowing and misery and knowing, knowing in pure contrast to unknowing, a wailing groan. The two forces passing one another so closely shattered Rat and he collapsed there. Watching through his tears as himself slowly walked into the shadows and was gone.

For almost an hour Rat lay in the dark tunnel, staring blankly down the void, until the darkness began to slowly receded and he could feel his body again.

Slowly, with great effort he sat up and hunched there, dazed, his fur matted and whiskers crooked, eyes puffy and red.

He sniffled and huffed a staccato breath in and then gingerly stood.

He looked this way and that for the self that had just passed him, he looked back towards Badgers vault, and back down the way he had come. He now wanted nothing more than to return to his own vault and drink herbs that would help him sleep and lie in purple light of his candle and be in the quiet.

As he held the arm he’d been lying on and slowly shuffled down the tunnel, something caught round his footpaw.

Startling him, he kicked it off his foot and hopped back a few steps.

There, lying on the ground, was a long black silk blindfold.

Rat looked at it bewildered for a moment, but when he tried to think of Raccoon, he felt dreadfully ill.

He staggered back and began walking briskly, almost trotting back to his vault.

He flung through the curtains and dove onto his cushions and wrapped himself in his blankets.

His eyes were wide there in the dark.

All was silent and then Rat let out a pained and unsteady sigh.

SIGH No.8

As we are unaware of the Other

We are unaware of the self

As we know

We do not know

In times when we cannot bear ourselves

And what we know is laid plain or so we think they are

May we

May we….

In all things we do not understand

In all things we do not know

We do not understand

We do not know

May there be mercy

May we give mercy and be given

For what a terror the knowing

And what a mercy the unknowing

And what a comfort the knowing

And what a horror the unknown.

BLACK NIMBUS

BLINDFOLD

Rosary of LSF

What sense are there in words here?

I DO NOT KNOW

As the Sun Burrows No.7

As the Sun Burrows no. 7

Vigil No.6

As Rat sat in his little vault waiting for the sun to set, he wondered what Possum might say about his dream, he hoped her words would dispel the dread and fear he had clustered inside him.

Rat, to distract himself got up and went and asked Rabbit, who was busy tidying and decorating, for some tea leaves and he happily obliged.

As Rat returned back to his own vault, he could hear thumping and bumping from within, quickening his steps he rounded the opening and found quite a sight.

His chair had been knocked over, several things he had hung up on the earthen walls now resided on the ground and a lamp that he had bought with badger sat smashed on the edge of his table. There, in the middle of all the mess, with his back to Rat, stood Raccoon, his blindfold of black silk hung down his back and parted at the junction of his tail.

Rat could feel anger and confusion welling up inside him. He could easily tidy the room but the lamp was special to him and now it was ruined.

“What do you think you are you doing!?”

Rat snapped at the Raccoon

Who turned his head towards Rats voice.

“I’ve broken something, and so I awaited your return so that you would know I had done it”

Rat clenched his jaw.

“What brought you into my vault in the first place?”

Raccoon shook his head.

“I came looking for you, I had heard you were going to see Possum this evening, I wanted to go with you”

Rat retorted quickly and bitterly.

“Why didn’t you simply call out? I would have answered you if I were in here.”

Rat began picking up the shattered pieces of the little football shaped lamp.

“I didn’t think of that”

Raccoon said plainly.

“Will you give me a moment Raccoon?” Rat said crossly, you’ve broken something rather special to me and I am angry”

Raccoon nodded and began to leave, but as he did he stepped on a small shard of the lamp that Rat had missed. The ceramic cut into Raccoons Footpaw and he stumbled, grasping, he pulled down the small curtains that served as a door to Rats vault.

Rat watched but did not move.

The Raccoon felt around his foot as he lay on the ground, as he came to the shard still in it he visibly winced in pain.

Rat remained still and silent, as blood dripped from the paw onto his shambled curtains.

Raccoon tried to get the piece out but could not find a hold, he did not ask for help or call out.

Rat stood angrily and strode over to him.

“HOLD YOURSELF STILL”

He said sternly and loudly and grabbed hold of the shard and pulled it from his paw quickly,

tossing it onto the table with the rest of the broken pieces.

He helped clean the spot and put a bandage on it and got Raccoon, who had gone very silent, to his feet.

“Perhaps you should consider removing that blindfold” Rat said in distaste, “things like this might not happen.”

Raccoon did not say anything, he simply began to wonder back down the burrows tunnels.

Rat watched him go a moment and then began hanging the curtains back up after some washing and silent swearing.

He felt little sharp pains in his chest and stomach and worried over them.

He sat down in a slump in the middle of the room, looking around at all of the chaos. And Sighed.

“SIGH” No.7

May your anger pass

May anger not find root in you

May anger be kept at bay

For in anger choice is made rapid

And in haste choice the harvest spoils

May you not be quick to anger

Or mistrust

Or misgivings

Patience and silence

Are better

Than an early reaping

And accusations

Let your decisions be born of ease and finality

That you may go on free of the burdens that anger plants.

Selah for Raccoon.

Raccoon came to the arch of the big burrow where Badger slept.

From inside the sounds of a large animal sleeping came.

Raccoon turned his head and faced down the tunnel, as if to look and see if anyone was there behind him, though he still wore his blindfold.

Facing the entrance to Badgers vault again,

which was little more than a huge arch filled with pitch black shadow, he reached behind his head.

(Now, here in Foxes mirror, what we are allowed to see, let it be known that there is no knowing what was seen save from behind Raccoon.)

Standing there just before the border of the vault, with his back to us, as we watch him do it, Raccoon removed his blindfold, it hung in his left hand there for a moment.

He stood and faced the vaults entrance for some time.

No sound was made, and no movements.

Just the sounds of Badger sleeping.

After a time he deftly tied the blindfold back around his eyes and turned to face us and walked, shambling back from the direction he came.