As the Sun burrows No.6

As the Sun burrows No.6

Wednesday, September 25th, 2024

Vigil No.5

Rat sat in a common burrow with several other animals, there was Rabbit and Mouse and a few others. Breakfast was being cooked in large Pots, oats in milk and cinnamon and honey simmered away, It smelled good enough, but Rat did not find himself particularly hungry after his unrestful sleep. He sat on cushions on the floor staring blankly at the foam that had bubbled up over the lid of pot of boiling milk.

“You don’t seem quite happy this morning” a familiar voice broke through his thoughts. Rat turned and found himself once again in the company of Mouse, the same one who had walked him back to his room after the dreadful nightmare he had had last night.

“Happy” Rat repeated and then shook his head out of its fogginess, he properly greeted Mouse with a good morning and thanked him for his kindness from the night before.

“I wont be false Mouse said, I know you had some sort of night terror, I don’t mean to pry, but do you remember much of it?”

Rat, thought for a moment, and then recounted the dream to Mouse in a simple and concise manner.

Mouse listened intently, and then, when the telling of it was done, they both sat silent, not looking at one another.

Worry began to paint Rats face.

Mouse, who was a cheerful and sprightly young fellow (as all mice seem to be) put a paw on Rats shoulder.

“Well,” he said, “the way I see it, you have two paths…”

Rat looked puzzled but curious.

“The first path, is to accept the not knowing and go forward in it, set the dream and worry aside and do not pick it back up to turn over and over again in your hand like some river rock or shining stone.”

Here Mouse paused.

“Or we can, while it is not yet come the cold dark, take with us this evening an earthen bowl and some tea, I’m sure Rabbit will share if we ask him, and take it to Possum when she is awake this night. Possum comes to the garden in the evenings and we may find her there and have her hear this dream of yours and read the leaves. If nothing else we get to see Possum and you get a cup of tea!”

Mouse giggled and squinted his bright small eyes.

Rat became aware that there were many roots veining the walls of this vault and that in some strange way, the tendrils of them all seemed to have slowly reached toward mouse ever so slightly as the two of them had been speaking, like a flower following the Sun. Rat agreed, “We will go to Possum then” he said. But no sooner had he said it than a doubt and a fear came to his chest. It felt like a small stone being dropped into an open well. And he sighed.

“SIGH” No.6

Choice is the crux of things

The highest point of the arch

May we give pause where choice must be made

As many thousands of choices lay before

As snaking paths or a plethora of seed

Consideration and thought are after all, as fertile soil and seed

But action, the doing of the thing

Is born of choice

just as the oat is born of the soil and its seed

Choose where you plant

When you plant

And what you plant

Carefully

For in it

Lies further and future choices

And so shall it be

Until the day wolf licks the candle flame out

As the Sun Burrows No. 5

SIGH No. 5

As we know so little

Let us not sink into despair

Let the unknowing be well with us

Let us rejoice in our collective uncertainty

Let it not divide us

As we rest in our burrows

May we be unburdened with proof

May we be light and free of needfulness

Let us do away with being correct

Put down the argument

The opinion may be left by the bedside

Bring The mercy of the unknowing

And the mysteries of Seeking to our hearth

As the Sun Burrows No.4

Vigil No.4

As all the animals nestled and bustled about the tunnels and burrows, Rat wandered the underground maze. Bedding and little blankets and knitted afghans and pillows littered the vaults where mice played games, hedgehogs watched screens and rabbits hung up bells and brewed teas. The smell of those teas and spices wafted through the underground space, scents of apples and pumpkin dominating above. Rat was not unhappy, he felt greatly comforted by the animals that greeted him and knew him, but his mind was veiled, here he felt there was no cool air, and no space to be separate. He could only think of Badger, where he was, how he was and how very much he wanted to be near him and his warmth. Just as he began to feel his fur prickle, he passed a large vault where quite a few animals were gathered. Inside they were loudly shouting at what the Rat could now see, as he entered the vault, was a football game, as he rounded the corner, there, sat among some cushions, awake but dozing as he watched the game, was Badger. A can of beer was impressively balanced on the round curve of his belly as he slumped there resting and enjoying himself. Rat came to his side and Badger lifted his paw and arm to welcome Rat underneath them, which Rat quickly and eagerly accepted. The size and heat of the Badger was overwhelming and before long among the echoing boom of broadcasted stadium music and cheers, the Rat fell into a deep and comfortable sleep.

Rats Dream:

(((The Garden was silent and dark, silver frost climbed every surface. Not a single green one was awake. The Pine that stood tall over the frozen pond was the one mighty enough to hold, though its needles were filled with white snow. Here from the bough that stretched out over the pond, hung Possum, the white candle she held was so brilliant it illuminated the entirety of the inner garden, she was full and silver and watched the scene unfolding below her with a knowing but strange smile. Across the ice below her, slivers and smears of blood lead a trail to Bear who was down on one knee on the frozen pond, bleeding profusely from his mouth, his wild eyes held firmly forward.

Rat followed his furious gaze, and from just beyond where possums light reached, something stirred.

From the darkness and swirling silver and white, wrapped in white cloth that swirled and rippled ethereal round him, stepped an animal that Rat did not immediately recognize.

Ice gripped the rodent as the animal stepped gently and silently forward, as the swirling cloths passed in front of his face this way and that, rat could make out the flashes of the faces of those gone before him, faces full of pain and fear. Rat was overwhelmed, he fell backward and like a child,scooted himself away from the scene beginning to gasp and cry. As Possums silver light illuminated the animal, there was no face to be seen, a bright empty and unknowable nimbus obscured its visage. it was bloodied and crooked and mangled but moved so gently and gracefully the rat could not discern it either as a deliverer of mercy or as a tormenting evil.

The specter moved ever closer to bear, who was trying desperately to stand.

As rat watched through his tears, he could just make out the dry black nose and slack, open jaws of an animal he knew, he could smell it: rain rotted flowers, spoiled meat and the smell of cold earth.

This Beast had come for her those many years ago and now in the garden once green he came for Bear.

Bear bellowed out a horse and weak roar as he finally stood.

Rat felt the embers of hope grow dim and cold, he felt as far away as one could from love and light and comfort.

His chest hurt and his breathing was rapid.

Bear was the tallest animal Rat had ever met yet here standing before Wolf, he seemed so small and frail.

Bear did not flee nor flinch. He stood defiant on the ice, as blood dribbled off his chin.

Wolf raised his massive and long arm and pointed to the sky, and at his pointing the stars above him dimmed leaving only pitch and empty.

Possum, who the Rat had forgotten hung just above them, Laughed….and it was a laugh as thunder or a scream.

The suddenness of it, startled him so horridly he kicked his feet out and….)))

And there he was, on the floor of the big burrow he had fallen asleep in. He sat and regained his bearings, his heart pounded and he reached for Badgers paw….but the Badger had gone.

A friendly mouse came to him and asked if he were alright.

They walked back to Rats vault together chatting about the strangeness of dreams.

Rat lingered outside his room a moment after bidding the mouse farewell and goodnight. Peering down the tunnel to the big Den where he knew Badger now slept, he sighed.

Sigh No. 4

May we find comfort

May we find rest

May we draw near to peace and ease

May our burrows be full

May your work be well and finished for the time

And may you be loved in light and cheer.

As the Sun Burrows No.3

Vigil No.3

Equinox day, autumn, September 22, 2024 11:14 a.m.

((((Back room of the house, all animals have gone, save Bear and Possum, Possum slumbers in the den and Bear stands silently in front of the three windows.)))

BEAR: “See here, out of these three great windows of the house of thought, go each animal, great and small, named and not, down into the Suns burrow. As the breeze lilts between fur and splays whiskers and cloth, each animal proceeds down, with their lanterns in paw. If I look out this window here, it is as a great festival parade, full of light and wonder and laughter. If I look out this window in the middle, it is more plain, some wear the countenance of joy and excitement, while others the mask of worry hangs heavily on downturned face. Finally if I gaze through the window on the end, the scene is dark as a funerary procession, all lights low and every step shaking and full of despair and worry and pain.”

WOLF: (standing behind bear, reflected in the window but silent, his face unable to be looked upon)

Bear addressing Wolf: “Your brother Fox has placed these windows here in great mercy, but what strange mercy perception is. Fox grants us the sight of paths. All Paths lead out of the mouth of your brother Coyote and end down your cavernous throat. What are we to do but spend a little time between those mouths and watch ourselves move along the path in glimpses shown in the mirror Fox hold? The seasons and all living things are born of the laughter of Coyote, those things are shown and reflected to each by the mirror Fox holds, that we may discover them by our own understanding for what is shown in foxes mirror is illuminated only by the light we hold up to it….. And then come thee, wolf, to collect all lights under your cold tongue as every possible thing ceaselessly carries itself in procession to pass through your fangs. You who are neither hungry nor satisfied.”

Here Bear began coughing, a rasping deep tearing cough, that rattled back into him in a snarling wheeze as he gasped. To one not watching, it would be as the sounds of snarls and roars and growls. As he slowly regained his breath he looked to his candle in its little green glass, now low and faint, with not much wax left…he stood bunched with his fanged jaws hung open and his breathing labored, as blood then trickled from the line center his tongue, out over his down curled lip to Pitter patter on the window sill in deep red spots. His eyes, wild and wide and green and bright as wild grass looked quickly from the candle to the window again, where Wolfs reflection still stood behind him, he fought to look beyond him, to the little animals hurrying down into their burrow and once his eyes adjusted and he could see the smiling and laughing, he sighed, and closed his muzzle. Wiping the blood up with a well cared for kerchief he produced from his vest pocket, he tidied himself and stood straight and silent again. His eyes closed. And there he stood for a time. When he opened his eyes again to look out the great middle window, they had become brown and golden, the color of amber tea and cinnamon.

SIGH No.3

Oh fears, flee thee before the lights we have been given. Oh pain, be put at bay by the burrows prepared for us.

May the sweet lessons, joy and kinship born of tender spring and fondest summer be reaped and stored here with us as we descend.

May this burrow be where the sun sleeps, where we gather in love and where all hard fought things and efforts be born as sustenance and comfort in the coming dark and cold.

Selah for Bear:

Pain and fear and the endings will come. there is no path that wolf does not walk, but along side him walk his brothers, and in your tears and aching and worry, may the laughter of coyote lift your thin limbs when you cannot, may the mirror of fox reflect those whom you have loved and who have loved thee and may you find the empty house with ease, for its masters finality is as just and earned as it was for all things in eternity that came before thee and that shall come after.

As the Sun Burrows No.2

Vigil No. 2

Sigh No.2

September 21st, 3:03 pm

Rat busied himself about the house, collecting bay leaves and cinnamon, wax and wick and all manor of comforts, both comforts to him and what he hoped would be comforts to others.

He Neatly packs them in boxes and he takes them, one by one, down into the hole in the garden.

The sun has not yet set.

Badger has dug deep enough that rat cannot see him from the vault he has chosen down the tunnels. He chose one very close to where Badger will be sleeping.

Needing a rest, Rat sat in the garden a moment and watched rows of little fluffy clouds pass rapidly over him, leaving brief darting moments of shade, then warmth and sun then blue hues and shade again. Today was the first day since the digging and preparation began, that actually felt as though the Autumn were arriving. It would be some time before the winter and the Wolf. And that worried and comforted him in odd ebbing ways.

He looked through the big windows at the back of the house where he had sat with the others the night before. Possum was nowhere to be seen, but Bear stood at the window. From where Rat rested he could not tell if Bear was looking at him and as the bear retreated into the shadows of the house, it gave him no clearer a sign.

The work was done for the day, there was to be a celebration before the going into the underground.

Washing up and readying himself to greet the animals, Rat wondered if Badger might at least join them for a while and hoped he would.

As the evening turned golden, the animals came.

First the Mice then Moths, all a clamber and giggles. Then haphazardly and not without incedent came in the blindfolded Raccoon, who handed Rat his umbrella and began to bump about the house.

Then came Bear from the back room, who sat quietly in the kitchen, in a chair whose back was against a wall.

Possum still slept but was present in her own ways.

And finally with a great thud, the door was closed by Badger, whose presence made the Rat overflow with comfort and happiness.

Tonight was a celebration!

All the animals would attend, those known and those unknown and when the celebration ended, the descent would begin.

There were no speeches, or specific feasts, just animals milling about, eating and drinking as they liked, speaking about the “down there” and what they planned to do with the time spent in it.

Rat sat quietly next to Badger, who was visibly tired and nodded off here and there. The warmth of him was like wine and mead and hot tea and baths to him.

It left the Rat satisfied and un-worrisome.

And at a time of celebration, what more than satisfied and unworried can one hope to be?

“Here we are all gathered, the known and the unknown, the future is unknown, the self is hardly known and the “other” known even less, but in this season we ask for unity and warm kinship, that as we huddle together and share our stories and lights, we may come away from it all back into the sun, a little more of each other than before. As the seasons change may we change in promise, in the same promise that what sleeps shall return, what was once green and quiets into fire and gold and then silver and sleep, will be green once again in time. May we come back fuller and wiser and more able, may badger dreams be full of peace and laughter, and may he rise again in might!”

As the Sun burrows No.1

As the sun burrows

First Vigil. Six hours and thirty four minuets before the fall equinox.

Here now, is a small brick house, ornate in its own way, but still simple.

This house is surrounded on all sides by a wonderfully large and diverse garden.

From the center of that garden, a faint flickering glow and the sounds of paws digging.

Now, inside the house.

There are three large windows that look out onto the back garden. Here in the back room of the house, sat in front of those three windows we find Opossum.

Behind Opossum thee three windows loomed, black and pitch….void. Night had fallen and the Sun was burrowing.

Expectedly, the small white door of the house pushed open, the cluster of bells hung from it chimed in clatter.

Through the door came a tall and rather thin bear, after closing the door behind him he silently hung his scarf and knit cap on the wrack. Slowly, he made his way through the dim house, to the back room where Possum sat and took his seat at the small round table. From the kitchen came clattering and shuffling but Bear and Possum remained silent.

And there they sat….for quite some time.

Rat entered the back room with three cups, two coffee cups clattered by their handles in one paw and a slim wine glass was held by the stem in the other.

The mugs were placed on the table and one was slid gently to Possum, who grabbed it up and held it close, the steam curling round their whiskers. The other mug remained with rat and the glass of deep dark wine was gently placed in front of Bear.

Bear slowly slid his long clawed digits between the stem of the glass, but kept his palm face down so that it covered the base of the stem, and there his hand remained, rested on the table as if to acknowledge that he had received the wine though he did not drink it.

“Well” said Rat as he sat at the third chair at the table leaving only an empty fourth, “Our friend is busy at work out there in the Garden, this is no easy task for him, he works ceaselessly.”

Possum drew a shawl around them and picked their foot paws up off the floor to hold them closer up under them, looking over the bridge of their snout (which made their eyes a bit crossed) they peered at something over Rats shoulder.

Rat followed their gaze to a small clock sat on a decorative table in the corner of the room. He sighed.

Bear reached into his worn but well cared for vest and produced a small green glass which contained a candle, Possum from somewhere in their shawl wrangled out a white glass which contained a candle, and rat, who seemed reluctant reached into his pants pocket and produced a purple glass which held in it a candle.

“It’s time then I suppose he said”

But all was silent. Possum, had borrowed three matches from the badger, who was still audibly digging in the night outside  they struck them suddenly and precisely. All three were lit.

She passed one to bear who lit his green candle and shook the match out.

She passed one to Rat who held it in his paws a moment, protective and precious, then he lit his own purple candle and snuffed the match out by placing it in his now empty coffee mug.

Finally, Possum lit her own candle, the radiance of white cast each of their countenances upon the darkened glass of the windows in strange faint colors.

“Now is the time that the Badger digs, That the Sun sets, and rest will be needed, though without His might and Light, we cannot stay here in the garden where the frost will assemble and the end will be laid plain. He goes now to prepare a place for us, and I come to watch this house, As I am he who wakes when the Flame sleeps. For a moment, Rat thought that Badger had come to peer into one of the large windows and he meant to wave to him, to bid him come in….but as his eyes adjusted it became clear he was seeing only Possums reflection and he wondered how he could have ever confused the two.

“When the digging is done, we will go under, and there we will stay until his waking, when the warmth and the green returns!"

Bears candle flickered and his shadow seemed to dance and grasp at every corner.

Rat looked at him but bear made no sign to him.

Possum continued "There is still some time left, what you have learned and what you have made and stored up, gather these things unto you, take you candles, and blankets and mirrors and paper and paints and pens and the food for yourself and the food for him and his great feast, take you silver bells and water, take you spices and tea, take you bedding and pillows and books, leave not a single animal out, allow any that come to shelter and, most importantly” Possum said as he held up his candle that shown brilliantly, "Take you the light that the Badger has given, let it be warmth and comfort to you and a sign of his return." and here Possum paused.

"Take you also incense and the oils of flower, and medicines and bandage, take you your auger and dried flowers,  and silence, and silence….for as he rests, as the chill and dark seep, the Wolf walks the garden."

Rats mind went to funerary tidings and rain rotted flowers and he shook his head and stood and Possum was silent.

"Then I will gather the others and we will begin our work" rat said and he left the room.

as Rat passed the Den, he turned on every light and the television which was broadcasting a football game, he paused at this, and smiled.

In the back room Possum and Bear still remained, Possum gradually stood and set his candle in the window sill, looking out into the garden, the flickering light from down in the badger hole had gone out and all was silent.

Bear sat very still, he looked down into the deep dark purple wine in his glass and there reflected in it, standing just to his left was a dashing and adorned fox, who upon being viewed shifted the gaze of his fiery eyes and made eye contact with Bear.  Bear moved his hand back and turning his wrist upward, lifted the bulb of the glass to his purple lips and drank every drop in one motion without a sound.

SIGH: No.1

“Oh badger, as your work continues and grows closer to its seasonal end, may the solar warmth we have cherished be brought bright with us in our little fires. May passions glow and be shared, candle to candle deep into the nights. May warmth be in every burrow, may light be in every tunnel, that these be happy times, stored up and spared from the cold and frost, cradled in the loving rooms prepared for us by your paws.

Oh Wolf! Oh Badger! Should the fires go out, may the scent of resinous incense and the oils of flowers dress our bodies here in these immaculate vaults, that we be returned to the earth as seeds and brought back anew in the spring by our own bodies and joy, or by the bodies of the new and their joy, Oh Sun, as you burrow, stay true and strong that at the end of your toiling the work be done, Rest in easy slumber with every need met, by those who you have so greatly provided for.”